So where do you stand? Should the man put the toilet seat down for the ladies who follow him? Or in the spirit of equality between the sexes, should he just leave it up or down, depending on whether he stood or sat?
Arguments for putting it DOWN:
- Common etiquette in consideration of delicate women folk who always use the toilet sitting down and are dependent on men to make sure the seat is in the down position before the woman can use it.
- So during the night, a woman (or man) doesn’t sit and fall in the toilet.
- So women don’t have to touch the seat with their fingers to put it down before they use the toilet and potentially infect their privates with whatever germs they got on their fingers.
Arguments for leaving it UP:
- So during the night, a man doesn’t piss all over the seat.
- If touching the icky toilet seat is a concern of women, consider this—if the seat is down the man has to lift the icky seat with his fingers. He then uses those “contaminated” fingers to hold his penis while he urinates. It’s doubtful that he then washes that penis before sexual activity with a woman, so the woman has less control of avoiding icky-toilet-seat contamination via the man who had to lift the seat.
- Penis-crush injuries can be suffered by toddler males trying to lift heavy seats that slip out of their little hands and fall onto their penises.
Most of the arguments above are questionable, at least as a male vs. female conflict. I know men who always sit, even if they’re just urinating. It’s not as simple a decision as women make it out to be. However, I’ll admit that when I use the bathroom in an office or home where the primary users are women, I’ll be polite and considerate and lower the seat when I’m done.
There are options for women to urinate standing up, primarily in public restrooms so they don’t have to sit on dirty and/or contaminated toilet seats. Products developed in Europe include a portable disposable urination funnel called Urinelle. Ellen DeGeneres uses a product, developed by a Dutch woman, called P-Mate! A German company manufactures a female urinal fixture that has been used in European concert facilities and airports.
There is, however, a somewhat simple solution for the home that works for everyone—install a urinal!!
We did i
t in our two-male home. It’s wonderful. In that bathroom we always leave the toilet seat down. If we just have to pee, we use the urinal. If we want to do more than pee, we use the toilet. It’s that easy, people!
There is also something freeing about a urinal. Splashing and spraying worries that come with peeing into a toilet are gone. All is contained by the urinal wings. A man can focus on release, not only of his bladder but also of anxiety, overwhelm, anger. Whizzzzz—away it all goes. A man is left with his thoughts and can connect with his root, primal nature. Peeing into a urinal is as freeing as peeing outdoors in the woods or in the snow. It’s a simple joy of manhood.
Space-wise, a urinal may seem like a luxury for most homes. Make room—it may be more important to marital bliss than double sinks. And they are not that expensive, sometimes less than a toil
et—Home Depot has urinals for under $200, not that much more than their toilets. As you can see from the photos of our urinal, there are stylish designs from which to choose, apart from the basic utilitarian urinals found in most public restrooms. We chose an electric-eye flush rather than the clunky looking knob handle models that would have made our bathroom look like one in a gas station or bar. (The only weird thing is sometimes it flushes on its own, waking us up during the night—we wonder if a ghost has passed in front of the eye causing it to flush. Or do ghosts pee too? Invisible phantom piss…)
If you don’t have the space, money, or chutzpah to install a urinal, then I suggest that whenever someone, man or woman, goes to the bathroom, night or day, they individually take responsibility to check the current position of the seat. If it’s up, and you need to sit, then put it down. If it’s down and the man needs to pee (or the woman needs to clean it), he (or she) raises it and leaves it there when they’re finished. The next person to use the toilet can then decide whether they need to put the seat down or leave it up. It’s the democratic thing to do, oui-oui, ladies?
